Laced with fire of stress

I did say yes
O at lightning and lashed rod;
Thou heardst me truer than tongue confess
Thy terror, O Christ, O God;
Thou knowest the walls, altar and hour and night:
The swoon of a heart that the sweep and the hurl of thee trod
Hard down with a horror of height:
And the midriff astrain with leaning of, laced with fire of stress.

Here is the second stanza--- aflame with fearfulness of letting go. I love the diction, the words of struggle and restriction like -strain, stress, walls, hard, down, lightning, night; words of intimacy and emotional impact like swoon, leaning, heart, heardst me, knowest (in a secret surprising way); words of a willed resignation and oblation like "did say yes," altar, confess, fire.

Is this stanza too unruly? Un-English? I think that is a fun question and I would say it is unruly and perhaps de-structured linguistically but not to destroy but to enter into the whirl of the passionate moment of resignation amid trial, to feel the unsettled omnipresence of the Divine within the "horror of height" a battle of the spirit against an inner resistance. Despite the disorderliness of the emotional state presented here the speaker still has a yes to say that is "truer than tongue."

Did you catch the nautical reference at the end of this one? Augurs well for his main subject of a ship-wreck and puts the speaker with those Fransicans saying yes before the viod of the sea. If you feel a little sea sick too, grammatically speaking, I think that is part of the plan as well. His tale will not be for the faint of heart in any sense.

Some other favorite poems-- just for the curious.
https://www.cs.drexel.edu/~gbrandal/Illum_html/hound.html
http://www.bartleby.com/101/679.html
http://www.netpoets.com/classic/poems/054001.htm